i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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