he told me I talked like a deaf person
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize