people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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