the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize