help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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