if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
