Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize