we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
sex in a hospital.. check
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
