Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
dude. I can hear the air.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
