a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize