I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize