You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
