I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
