i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
