He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
