i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
