I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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