My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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