why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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