I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I will pee on everything he values.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize