I think im going to throw up on grandma
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dicks are not precious.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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