Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
