omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
and i looked up. we had an audience...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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