you guys were way drunker than both of me
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
