My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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