In the future we'll all be gay
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She's the barista slut.
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they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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