no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
