Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize