don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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