So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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