Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
