If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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