Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
