the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
