I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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