So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
