it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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