you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
