Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
