but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize