I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
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She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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