What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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