Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
