I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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