We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
