So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
