Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
