Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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