dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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