Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
