We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
