No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize