Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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