how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
