My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Randomize
