Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
