this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
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Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
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I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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