The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
