You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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